I was on the bus to the monastery where I would spend the next 56 hours in silence. Thursday night until Sunday afternoon without conversation. I would later learn that I was not the only one on the bus headed to the same spot of isolation.

I decided to take part in a weekend of silence because I knew my life was not the way I wanted it to be. I was six months into the final project of my masters, every aspect of which I absolutely dreaded. It consumed me. Financially things weren’t great, it had gotten into the weekly habit of calculating the number of months I could survive on my funds. And I had noticed I was slacking in health and felt much less in control of my life than a year earlier.

The 56 hours of silence were definitely worth it. I learned four valuable lessons that I would like to share with you, hoping to inspire you to undergo a similar quest when life seems to forego you.

1. Realigning Actions With Values

After multiple pages of extensive journaling and trying to figure out why I felt slightly miserable all the time, I finally understood. In this period of stress and slacking, I had let go of all kinds of small efforts and habits that I cared about. Health and well-being had taken a backseat to my endless to-do list. Along with some core values I constantly ignored. The silence allowed me to reflect on these discrepancies. I realized that I needed to realign my actions with my core values to regain a feeling of control.

2. The Power of Body Language

Despite the lack of verbal communication, I developed a fondness for the nine other people I was with. This fondness was mutual, as described by everyone at the end of the experience. We communicated through smiles, nods, and gestures. This taught me that body language is incredibly powerful and often overlooked. We can convey empathy, understanding, and support without saying a word. This realization has made me more attentive to non-verbal cues in my everyday interactions, enriching my relationships.

3. Let Yourself Be Inspired

I read a book and a half within this timeframe. The full book¹ I read on developing moral ambition inspired me to put more time into finding a more meaningful career. What I learned mostly is that reading a book in one go allowed me to become much more inspired. I was inspired to read more books – a daily practice of mine now – and to allow myself the occasional (half) day to get lost in the words of someone whom I want to inspire me. It allows me to be more positive.

4. Take a Step Back and Reflect

The intention of taking part in this retreat was to take a step back and reflect on what my life had become. This proved to be effective and much more valuable than I had anticipated. After hours of reading, getting inspired, and journaling, I had learned a lot about myself, friction points in my life, and what I wanted to do to change them. I tried to formulate answers to questions such as:

1. What is bothering you currently?
2. What will you change in your life once this weekend is over?
3. What would your ideal week look like?

Writing it all out and reflecting helped, and has sustainably changed my life and my perspective on it.

Conclusion

The weekend of silence at the monastery was a transformative experience. It provided me with the clarity and peace needed to reassess my life and make positive changes. I encourage anyone feeling overwhelmed or disconnected to consider a similar retreat. Silence can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and realignment.

1. Currently only available in Dutch unfortunately. ↩︎