A couple of months ago, after reading Harv Eker’s Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, which I had seen multiple positive reviews for, I was inspired by one of the assignments: to write a letter to someone you admire. This advice echoed in Tim Ferris’s The 4-Hour Work Week and Ali Abdaal’s Feel-Good Productivity. I decided to write a letter to my grandfather, a man who has achieved much in his life and remains caring and modest.

Introducing My Grandfather: A Beautiful Man

While I held my grandfather in high regard, I wasn’t always sure what to talk about with him. He was usually occupied with the family-owned company that he and a partner founded. As a kid, I didn’t understand enough to inquire about it. In hindsight, I believe he also didn’t know what to talk about with an 8-, 10-, or 12-year-old. That makes sense to me.

I had seen my grandfather give sentimental speeches about the beauty of family togetherness. He always tried to take care of his (grand-)children and wanted to help those around him. Despite his busy schedule, he even founded a charity alongside his growing company, and at 89 years old, he is still very involved. He’s smart, understands complex dynamics, and embraces new developments with enthusiasm. Best of all, he is super-positive. When my partner and I left after a recent lunch, he waved us goodbye with a warm smile, saying, “Life is so beautiful, we should all enjoy it.”

How Our Relationship Changed

When Eker, Ferriss, and Abdaal suggested admiring someone in writing, I wrote a letter to my grandfather. I expressed my admiration for all he had achieved and meant to others, revealing that I intended to take after him. Initially, I felt tense after posting the letter, unsure of how he would react, as we often struggled to have deep conversations. But that changed.

My letter was one double-sided page of heartfelt admiration. Within two weeks, I received two double-sided pages of reply from my grandfather. I laughed warmly at his quick and longer response, beating me at my own game. Since then, my feelings toward my grandfather have warmed, and I believe he feels the same. Our conversations have become more interesting and deeper, and I no longer feel at a loss for words around him.

The Magic of That One Letter.

Here’s the thing: apart from writing each other these letters, we never discussed them in person. It’s as if there’s a silent, common understanding between us. There’s no need to discuss the contents of the letters; the effect is felt each time we are together.

Handwritten letters are beautiful because they are not rushed. You have time to think about your words. Explicitly admiring someone is powerful because people often aren’t aware of all the great things they do. A sentence in my grandfather’s reply stuck with me: in his 89 years, he had never received such a letter.

Take the Time to Admire Others.

Writing the letter to my grandfather brought me three main things:

1. It feels great to share positive vibes with others, especially when received with such kindness.
2. It deepened and improved my relationship with him, turning it into something much better.
3. I had the opportunity to tell someone who deserved to know how great they are, and the compliments were received with gratitude. That is a beautiful gift to give.

I encourage you to write a letter to someone you admire. It doesn’t have to be a long-winded, double-sided A4 paper. Just a note saying what you admire about someone near you can do the trick. Try it and see what happens; you might be surprised at how much better your relationship becomes.