It is much more rewarding for you to speak than it is to listen, biologically speaking at least. So, an applause to you for taking the time to listen to me – in writing! According to Elke Wiss in How To Know Everything, while expressing our ideas is exhilarating, the real magic happens when we stop talking and start listening. This article invites you to explore why being a great listener can be even more rewarding than being a great talker.

The Desire to Speak

Since reading How To Know Everything, I frequently notice how often I interrupt others to share my viewpoint. Instead of listening, I often feel the need to jump in. However, I’m actively working to stop this habit. Now, I replace my urge to speak with questions that aim to understand others better.

I’ve noticed that people feel more relaxed when you show genuine curiosity about their perspectives. Not only do they feel at ease, but they often become curious about your views too. This shift makes conversations more interesting and friendly.

The Power of Listening

Sharing your own ideas can certainly enrich conversations, but sometimes our need to speak can derail the dialogue and deepen divides. Here are five main reasons to practice holding back and making space to listen to others:

Enhancing Understanding

• Deeper understanding: By actively listening we gain a deeper comprehension of others’ perspectives and experience. This helps in building empathy and seeing the world from different viewpoints.
• Prevent Misunderstandings: Attentively listening can prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications, which often arise from assumptions or incomplete information.

Building Stronger Connections

• Empathy and Trust: When we genuinely listen, we show empathy and build trust with others. This creates a safe space for open and honest communication.
• Stronger Relationships: Relationships flourish when both parties feel heard and valued. Listening fosters a sense of connection and belonging.

Fostering Critical Thinking

• Questioning Assumptions: Listening allows us to challenge our own assumptions and biases. By considering others’ viewpoints, we can develop a more nuanced understanding of complex issues.
• Informed Decision-Making: Gathering diverse perspectives through listening enables us to make more informed and thoughtful decisions.

Encouraging Curiosity and Learning

• Continuous Learning: Engaging in listening promotes a mindset of lifelong learning. It encourages us to be curious and open to new ideas and information.
• Expanding Knowledge: By listening to others, we access a wealth of knowledge and experiences that we may not have encountered otherwise.

Improving Communication Skills

• Effective Communication: Good listeners are often better communicators. Listening helps us understand how to respond appropriately and constructively in conversations.
• Conflict Resolution: In conflicts, listening is crucial for understanding the root issues and finding mutually acceptable solutions.

A Guide To Listening

Becoming a better listener and controlling the urge to speak or interfere in a conversation is challenging and takes time. Here are some steps to guide you through the process:

1. Awareness: Start by becoming aware of when you tend to interrupt or dominate a conversation. Notice these moments and consciously choose to listen instead.
2. Practice: Like any skill, listening improves with practice. Make a deliberate effort to listen more and speak less in your daily interactions.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share their thoughts by asking open-ended questions. This not only shows your interest but also helps you gain deeper insights into their perspective.

For more thorough advice on how to ask better questions and becoming a better listener, I highly recommend reading Elke Wiss’s book How To Know Everything, or for an excellent summary you can visit Mark Greville’s Blog here.

Conclusion

Elke Wiss emphasizes that by turning off our speaking mode and turning on our listening mode, we can significantly improve our personal and professional lives. Listening is not just a passive activity; it’s an active, intentional practice that can lead to greater understanding, stronger relationships, and continuous personal growth. So, the next time you’re in a conversation, make the conscious choice to listen more—it’s a small change that can make a big difference.

Sources

How To Know Everything by Elke Wiss
Daily Mail
Mark Greville’s Blog

Banner Photo By: Greg Raines